Previous English skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the illness.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to really process that at the present time," he stated.
"This doesn't mean I don't understand where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is definitely a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, speaking together with his wife Annie, states conversely he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his current welfare, his family and getting ready for when the illness progresses.
"Perhaps that's trauma or possibly I process things uniquely, and when I have the facts, it's easier," he continued.
First Indications
Moody found out he had MND after observing some reduced power in his shoulder area while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the issue, a number of scans showed nerve cells in his brain and spinal cord had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this condition identification of MND and we're rightly quite emotional about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like nothing's wrong," he added.
"I don't sense unwell. I don't feel unwell
"My indications are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I'm still able to doing whatever I want. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Illness Development
MND can advance swiftly.
According to the organization MND Association, the disease claims a third of people within a 365 days and more than half within two years of identification, as swallowing and respiration become harder.
Medical care can only retard deterioration.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," commented an moved Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Effect
Talking from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he discussed telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, stating: "It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was quite upsetting," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced licking the tears off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody explained the priority was remaining in the now.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be extremely intensely concentrated on just accepting and appreciating each moment now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been really lucky that the primary choice I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as possible. We don't get those times back."
Sportsman Association
Professional athletes are unevenly affected by MND, with investigations indicating the rate of the condition is up to sixfold elevated than in the wider community.
It is believed that by reducing the oxygen available and producing harm to motor neurone cells, regular, strenuous exercise can initiate the illness in those already vulnerable.
Rugby Career
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his fearless, relentless method to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a practice scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a practice gear and started throwing himself into physical contacts.
After appearing as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the set piece in the critical passage of play, establishing a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding drop-goal.
Backing System
Moody has already notified Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a few other former colleagues about his condition, but the others will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"We'll have a moment when we'll need to rely on their support but, at the minute, just having that sort of affection and acknowledgment that people are present is all that matters," he commented.
"The sport is such a excellent community.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it finished now, I've enjoyed all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to label your love your career, it's one of the most significant honors.
"To have done it for so extended a duration with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I know they will wish to assist in every way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
